Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
