as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
