Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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