She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I met the friendliest cop last night
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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