it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just want to make out with him forever
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize