On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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