Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
