D3 body, D1 cock
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
