I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
