How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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