BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize