remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
