Me too!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
