I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
All I want is dick and wine.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
