the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
