Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
