so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
