I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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