Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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