I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
