yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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