is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Is Oprah even human
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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