Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Come see our sink grown plant.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
