i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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