is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize