Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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