Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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