I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I smell stomach acid.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
