if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
