He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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