carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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