phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize