What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
