dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
