I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
what day is it and did you see me today?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
