you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
