I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
