I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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