yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
