O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize