I need help removing her.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
