I wannas sexs uuuuu
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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