I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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