u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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