Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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