Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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