I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
