I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'm having to shit out rocks
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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