i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
