yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
