3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
