i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
