His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
