how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
