What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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