the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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