I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
