They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
