you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
