You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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