Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I understand Curling. That high.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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