her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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